Coping With Grief

Grief can cause loneliness for those who have lost someone close.  People look to the past for memories of loved ones and recall the moments that they have shared.  When a loved one dies, an area of life, that only our loved one was able to touch, seemingly feels empty or abandoned.  Since we all approach and handle grief differently, our emotions can sometimes create barriers that bring about the feeling of loneliness.  But, there is hope. Even though we all grieve differently we do not have to be alone.

Pain, sadness, emptiness and anger are just a few of the feelings we have when a loved one dies.  But what we must realize is that all of these emotions are natural reactions to the loss of a loved one.  They are the same if the death was expected or sudden.  Understanding this, you can see how denying yourself the right or permission to grieve can make the emotional pain even stronger.  Just as breathing is important to your physical survival, grieving is important to your emotional survival.  So, allow yourself this natural process, and embrace the healing journey of grief.

If you find yourself with others who are grieving, it is easy to get caught up in the idea that "you have to be strong for the people around you so others won't be sad."  How does this help you or them?  Don't be afraid to talk about the grief you feel.  Although some people are not comfortable talking about their feelings, perhaps there is someone who experienced a personal loss similar to yours who would like to talk.  You will then be able to help each other.

Some people feel that if they can block out the memories, their grief will go away. Generally, this is not the case.  Memories may cause you to grieve again, but they can also help you cope with your loss.  By using your memories to take you down the path of transition and coping, you will find your grief journey to be a healthier one.  Remember, it is OK to miss someone.  Ask for help if you need to talk to someone, but don't be afraid to remember the past.  Instead, take hope in knowing that even though your loved one has died, that fact in no way erases the time and experiences you both shared.  So, embrace your memories, and you will learn that true love never dies.

Even people who allow themselves to grieve, who embrace their memories and who face their grief, go through moments of sadness and heartache.  There will be times on your grief journey when you may just break down and cry because an object, a smell or even a sound reminds you of the one who is gone.  Having these moments doesn't mean you are not coping.  It means you are human and that you are allowing yourself to have a healthy grief journey.
If you find this information helpful and you wish to receive more free information, please contact us or click on "Grief Words" for many articles about grief written by Dr. Alan Wolfelt